Words With Friends, By Yourself...

So...as any of my Words With Friends playmates can attest to, i'm not the most loyal player. Truth is, i have so many other things to do on my iPad that i honestly forget that i have games going. So let me first apologize to all of the people who's time i've wasted...MelissaTy, GreenFinch and CurlyLoxx69...i'll come back to my roots one day, but for right now, my new obsession is "Word Whomp"...

Basically, Word Whomp is a game where you have to make words out of scrambled letters on the screen in a specific amount of time. It's www.Pogo.com game that was introduced to me by a dear friend...well that's not entirely true. She was playing, wasn't very good at it, and asked for my help over the phone. Initially this was rather boring for me as i couldn't see what was going on, but i decided to try it for myself...2 hours later i'm still playing...ARGH!!!! Goodnight...I hope...O_O

Forget Blondes, Raunchy Fat Chicks Have More Fun!!!

It's been a minute, but i'm back...life has a funny way of throwing you for a loop just when you think that you know exactly what you're doing. I've just recovered from one such loop (with another in it's infancy...O_O).

Anywho...in my hiatus, i've had the privilege of seeing quite a few movies. Call it a temporary distraction, or me just getting back to what i love to do the most...watch movies. Well i've noticed an alarming trend lately. That rauchiness has replaced sex as the new selling feature in Hollywood. Where you once had to have a hot blonde, a ravishing redhead or a breath-taking brunette to sell a movie, now you put some over-top sexual gestures, some really in your face dirty jokes, and sprinkle in some humor and you've got yourself a winner. This isn't a new phenomenon, i mean movies like "40 Year Old Virgin" and "Knocked Up" have been just a couple of the big ones in recent years.

Some noteable gems i've seen lately are "The Change Up", "Bridesmaids", and "Horrible Bosses". The common theme seems to be, say as much as you can, as dirty as you can, and then laugh your ass off right after it. For the record, i recommend all 3. All have good messages in the end, and tons of jokes in the middle. But it's hard to watch some of your favourite actors/actresses spew some of the most vulgar and inappropriate things they've ever said in their lives (see Jennifer Aniston in "Horrible Bosses").

Everything has a life cycle, and much like how you probably got bored of playing the piano as a kid, i'm sure that we'll get tired of the raunchiness...but until then, i'll be standing in line for "Our Idiot Brother"

2 Is Better Than 4

Okay, so 2 isn't better than 4, but it's all dependent on what we're talking about. When it comes to sex, 2 balls are better than 4, or my next question is "WTF is he doing here??". 4 breasts as opposed to 2 makes things interesting (not necessarily my cup of tea, but we can address that in another post). However, the 2 i'm obsessing over, are the 2 wheels of a motorcycle.

Now before you start in on me about the dangers, and the costs, there should be some full disclosure: my pops had a motorcycle, several of my friends had/have bikes, and someone i knew died as a result of a motorcycle accident. Yes i know the dangers, and i realize that driving a car offers more protection, and living in a country that only has 2 months of summer makes motorcycle ownership seem a little silly...yeah yeah yeah, i get it...but we like what we like, and we want, what we want...


I currently don't have a license, nor am i enrolled in the course to get it, but in the next 12 months i think that's going to change...so pray for me, and if you see a 2 wheeled rocket coming down the street, take extra care...it might just be me...

Movie Review: The Green Hornet

Over the last couple years there has been a huge commitment by movie studios to produce 3D movies. Be it in Real 3D or just 3D (hit me up if you know what the difference is). I've seen a few of these 3D flicks in theaters including "Avatar" and The Guardians of Ga'Hoole". Right off the bat i'll say that cartoons DO look amazing in 3D, but the major problem is that wearing sunglasses in an already dark movie theatre usually leads to me sleeping. So when "The Green Hornet" was released i said that i would wait for it to drop on DVD.

Well i recently took it in...and...let's just say i'm glad i didn't pay for this one. I've always considered Seth Rogen to be funny...period, end of story. His delivery is effortless. I'm an avid film watcher, and hate nothing more than when someone ruins a movie for me, but i feel like i owe it to you to tell you exactly what this movie is about, and just how bad it is.

The premise is that a newspaper mogul dies, and his absent minded, and immature son takes over the family business. Somewhere along the journey to becoming a man, he decides to become a pseudo-criminal who fights for good in the process. Still with me?? A good guy, bad guy...huh?!? That's what i said. The one shining star in the movie was Kato his loyal Chin-English speaking sidekick. He's the equivalent of Penny & the dog, to Rogen's Inspector Gadget...he basically does all the hard work. The action sequences were decent, and Kato's bike was the bizness, but...

...2 hours later, i felt supremely cheated, and disappointed. Rogen has given me such gems as "Knocked Up", "Superbad", "Zack & Miri Make A Porno" and "Funny People"...what made him think that people would want to see him as a super hero?!!? #EpicFail!! If this is the first Rogen movie you're about to see, don't make it the last - he's done waaaaaay better. But if you can, treat this movie like the co-worker with bad breath, and go the other way.

And With The First Pick...

I never watch the draft cause quite frankly they ain't calling my name, and they aren't asking my opinion on who to draft so what difference does it make. But as fate would have it, i'm here flipping channels looking for either NBA/NHL Playoffs and i stumble upon the draft on TSN...

"And with the 23rd pick, the Philadelphia Eagles select...."

OG Danny Watkins of Baylor University

It's exciting to know that we've gotten some O-line help so that Michael Vick isn't running for his life again this season, because who knows how much further we could have gone if we had better protection for Mike last season.

While i'm still cheesed that Mike didn't win the Madden12 cover contest (that honour went to Peyton Hillis). A pretty deserving dude all the same. After all he played for the Browns, and Cleveland needs a win of some kind more than any city; plus it didn't go to one of the "Golden Boys" (Manning or Brady) which is always good. And while i'm not the most superstitious person, if there is any truth to the Madden Curse, the last thing i want is my star QB going down to injury this season...if there is a season...

E-A-G-L-E-S....EAGLES!!!!!

PS - Cam Newton went first overall to the Carolina Panthers, and rumor has it that his dad was on the phone with UPS to find out the cost of next day delivery and to see if they had any boxes that would fit the Heisman trophy..."if you ain't cheating, you ain't trying"

Movie Review: It's Kind Of a Funny Story

So i've recently submitted to the idea that i am going to fail the first course of my life. Now i know what you're thinking..."what a quitter"...and you're absolutely right, i am quitting. Not because i'm dumb, or lazy, but because at this current juncture in my life i'm just not equipped to learn the material for this class in the manner that it is being presented. Lack of structure...poor teaching technique...poor time management...blah blah blah. The story here isn't about me...or maybe it is. The current events of my life have left me feeling rather down, or depressed as medical professionals would like to put it, and i thought "hey, why not watch some movies about kids who are depressed and the way they handled it"...first up was It's Kind of a Funny Story starring Keir Gilchrist, Zach Galifianakis (The Hangover) and Emma Roberts (Twelve).





The story is about a depressed teenager who is contemplating suicide, but doesn't have the balls to go thru with it, and is desperately looking for someone to talk him out of it. Unfortunately the usual outlets (friends and parents) don't have any great advice for him, so in a last ditch effort he has himself committed to an adult psychiatric ward, and as you can assume, a teenager mixed in amongst crazy adults (one of whom is Zach) can only lead to lots of laughs. I must admit that the only reason i wanted to see this movie at all was because of Zach. Say what you will about him playing the same character in every movie, but the dude is funny, PERIOD!! And not in a Jim Carrey the Mask kind of way either (if you don't believe me watch Due Date, he completely crushed that role). I won't ruin the movie by telling you that he ultimately kills himself...OOPS!! LOL!! But the movie got me to thinking about my personal struggles in my professional and personal life. And as the old cliche goes, i came to realize that no matter how bad i think i have it, there is someone out there worse off than me. However, more importantly it taught me that, i don't really care how bad the next person has it, cause their problems aren't mine, and knowing that someone else is suffering worse isn't going to help me pass this class, so i'm still going to fail, but now i'm going to fail knowing that just because i'm quitting with respect to this course, doesn't mean you have to quit at life in general. So much like the Knicks last night against the Celtics, i'm gonna take the "L", but i'm going to come back refocused next semester (albeit $700 lighter) and climb this hurdle. The movie is very good, and i would definitely recommend it to someone that is struggling with anything in their life. Sure it doesn't have any Hollywood heavyweights in the cast, but then again, neither does your life...

Dude Where's My Stuff??!?!?

So i was sitting here looking for the remote control for the fan (although i could have easily gotten up and pressed the power button), and i decided that i should really address this issue currently plaguing my life.

I'm not a big television watcher, because too much of what's on TV claims to be reality, when it's actually overproduced garbage masquerading as some one's life or a game show. When i do watch television it's either some sporting event, or A&E and TLC (the days of great television programming are dead, to be chronicled at a later date). These channels rip the scabs off the real lives of many people, exposing the ugliness of the world we live in. DISCLAIMER: I don't take pleasure in other people's misery, but I'm a realist and the world isn't full of Armenian girls with big asses, and i don't want to watch old washed up celebs (and some never weres: Latoya Jackson, NeNe, Wendy Williams) dance, or try to run a company.

So the other night while watching Hoarding: Buried Alive they showed a black single mother and son who were living like squatters in their own home. As they entered the apartment you could not distinguish what the individual rooms were. She said at one point "there's a couch somewhere under there"...O_O. The son went on to talk about how they don't have any guests over cause they are embarrassed by the appearance of their home. Imagine you go to visit your friend, sit down on a couch and discover that the family cat is dead under a pile of clothes??

It's at this point where i scream at the TV..."then clean the muthaphucka up!!". Simple enough right?? WRONG!!! I continued watching the show to completion, and then got up to get something to eat. Stubbed my foot on my gym bag, trying to avoid a stack of blu rays, a stack of magazines, and 2 empty shoe boxes...then like Tina finally did Ike in the limo, it hit me...I'm a HOARDER!!!!

Before you rupture your appendix laughing, I'm not one of those people that you see on television. Rooms and furniture are clearly distinguishable, and for the most part everything has a place. My problem appears to be that i have too much shit, in a tiny space. (I almost attached photos, but that might feed into the legend of Count De Monét -- to be detailed in another post). In the past i have donated clothes to the Diabetes Foundation or neighborhood kids to alleviate my burden and help out people in need, but magazines and movies are a lot harder to part ways with. 1) Cause i love movies (also to be discussed in future posts) and 2) i keep telling myself that i will one day go back and read these magazines that i paid good money for again...NOT!!!

I'm left with no choice at this point but to dispose of these old mags and some of these shoes boxes. To quote one of the hoarders, "i want my life back"...LOL!!! It's not nearly that bad, but you get the picture. So I'm off to clean up around here a bit while the NBA playoffs are on, so I'm out.

PS - found the remote, i was sitting on it.

Back Again For The First Time...

Wow...this is a monumental moment for me, cause i've been saying for years that i want to get my experiences and feelings out, and i'm one step closer to that happening. If you're reading this, let me say "thank you", because you coulda been anywhere on the web right now, but you're here with me (Da ROC is in the building). If you stick with this blog/digital memoir/mindless ramblings i can't promise that you'll always like or agree with my posts, but you can be for damn sure that i'm giving it to you straight no chaser.

The layout of this thing is currently under construction, as i figure out how to get it looking the way i want it to, so like the signs you've seen around malls everywhere "please excuse our appearance".

You're probably asking yourself, "who gives a rats ass about this guy, and what he has to say??"...well, quite honestly, ME!!! I'm not forcing you to read these posts, care about these posts, or even to understand these posts. I'm just sharing the ups and downs of life, the things that cross my mind, or the things that matter to me. Sometimes you'll laugh, other times you'll cuss, but these will always just be my feelings/opinions...I'm not trying to re-invent the wheel.

So without further ado, welcome to The Ramblings of G_Russ, and stay tuned for the first instalment of life according to me...